Rock Bottom
by IHeartLogiebear
Summary: Stephanie King isn't the person she portrayed to be. Behind the nice girl exterior is a broken girl desperate for an escape. She finally finds her escape, but it's not what anyone expected. It's much worse than that. Rated M for language and suicide.


**I haven't written a one shot in a while, so I thought I would write something short. This is kind of depressing (okay, it's very depressing), but I hope that you like it anyway. Yes, it is rated M due to the content. Gosh, I feel bad writing this:/ I don't know why, but sometimes I write some depressing stuff:/ I hope all you lovely readers don't mind**

My life has turned to shit, you know that? I just woke up one morning and realized how utterly pathetic I really am. Ever since, my life has spiraled out of control. I've started self harming (scratching my arms mostly), I have no enthusiasm for anything, and I cry way more than any nineteen year old woman should. Something is definitely wrong with me. Problem is, what am I suppose to do about it? Nothing. There's absolutely nothing I can do. At least, it seems that way.

It's raining in Los Angeles today. That doesn't happen often, so it's pretty cool when it does happen. I've always liked watching the rain. I think it's really beautiful, not to mention that it reminds me of my own pathetic emotions. It's like the sky is crying with me. The only difference being that I'm sitting in a car with a bottle of pills. The sky is just...there. Dear God, I'm not making any sense at all.

_So pathetic, Steph. So very pathetic._

_It's no wonder that you and Carlos broke up_

Those stupid voices won't leave me alone. The bitch ass Jennifers are constantly calling me names like slut and whore. In order to be a slut, I'm pretty sure I would have had to sleep with a whole lot of people. They don't know what they're talking about. Hey, let's not forget that my own mother has been pressuring me to lose weight. You won't have to worry about my fat ass anymore, mother.

I drove across town so no one would no one would be able to find me. I did leave a note, though. It wouldn't be right for me to leave without an explanation. In my note, I told my parents to read it at my funeral. I don't want any questions to be left unanswered. I get that people will wonder why I took my own life. The note explains everything.

I practically have the thing memorized.

_Dear family and friends,_

_By the time you read this, I'll be gone. I know that you probably have so many questions, such as why I decided to take my life. You all thought of me as being this beautiful, creative, self confident person that didn't care what people thought about her. Well, that's not the case. I'm afraid I've been lying to you this whole time._

_Mom, I was never good enough for you. You always told me that I needed to drop a "few pounds." One time, I tried to eat an Oreo and you took away from me, claiming that it would only make me fatter. I couldn't take your criticism anymore._

_Dad, you were always so protective. That's fine. But you got to the point where you were simply controlling me. You had so many rules as to what I could and couldn't do. You told me that if Carlos got me pregnant, you would disown me. What kind of parent disowns their own daughter for making a mistake? Not that I was pregnant, but knowing that you would do that...it bothered me a lot._

_Carlos, I loved you. Even though I'm dead now, I still love you. It broke my heart when we broke up. I won't blame you for my death, though. There was a lot of shit going on and none of it had anything to do with you. I wish that I had the strength to stay on this earth and be with you, but I just can't do that. This is for the best._

_Jo, I was always kind of jealous of you. I mean, you're beautiful and popular. You're the star of your own hit TV show. Who wouldn't wanna be you? My own mom compared me to you, saying "Why couldn't you be more like her?" Be grateful. You have everything that I never had. The good looks, the popularity, the fame, the wealth, everything. Even though I was jealous, though, you were one of my best friends. I'll miss you, girly._

_Camille, I first want to say that you have a very sexy boyfriend. Carlos was the love of my life, but I have to confess that I always had a tiny crush on Logan. Who can resist a hot nerd? I know I can't. Anyway, you have the confidence that I always wanted. You don't care what people think of you. When Mrs. Collins started bashing the Democratic party, you got out of your seat and you told that woman exactly what you thought. You got a week of detention, but whatever. Yep, you're full of attitude and everyone loves it. You lucky girl._

_Lucy, I don't know you very well, but I can see some likable qualities in you. For one thing, I love the badass rocker image. You're so sure of who you are and what you wanna do with your life. I knew that I wanted to be a director, but before I died, I was doubting myself. Would I ever achieve that dream? I wish I could have done it. Also, I love how you went all Taylor Swift on Kendall and wrote that breakup song about him. I wish I had your courage and confidence._

_Last but not least, the Jennifers. I'm gonna be a little less nice to you three because you're just three self centered little skanks with nothing else to do besides treat others like dirt. You always told me that I didn't deserve Carlos. Well, guess what? You don't deserve him either. I don't know what he finds attractive about you. *flips you off*_

_That's it, you guys. I'm sorry, but I'm done. I am so done._

_Love, Stephanie Elizabeth King_

I'm sobbing now, holding a handful of pills. I can't live like this anymore. I know that people say suicide is selfish and that it's the cowards way out, but they don't understand what people like me go through. I've always tried so hard to please everyone else, but I can't do it anymore. I'll never be thin enough for mom, beautiful like Jo, confident like Camille and Lucy, and Carlos...well, he'll get over me.

So I swallow the pills, tears rolling down my cheeks. I close my eyes and takes deep breaths, waiting for death to come. I don't feel anything right away, but I eventually begin feeling tired. I don't have the strength to cry anymore and it's too late to ask for help. All I can think about is how sorry I am for the hell I've put everyone through.

_I'm so sorry_

After what seems like forever, my vision begins to fade. Slowly but surely, I begin to fade away until finally...there's nothing.

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**Review! :)**


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